The last few blog posts have focused on things that people say to adoptive parents. As an adoptive parent myself, reading these posts has made me even more aware of my own answers to questions and comments made by strangers or vague acquaintances.
Today I heard a comment that I have heard often over the years since my first child was adopted: “Bless you for adopting these children.” The speaker had the best of intentions and in retrospect my silence could have been construed as rudeness. My silence was due to the fact that I have difficulty answering this question, because I don’t in any way feel that I should be blessed for adopting my children. I didn’t set out to “rescue” an orphan, or save them from unspeakable harm. My intentions were much more self serving – I adopted them to save me.
My children are the most precious gift imaginable and their very presence has blessed me a thousand times over. My life now has a focus, meaning and purpose that it never did before. I want to shout my joy from the rooftops – but usually refrain so my children’s mother won’t be considered completely crazed.
So when you “Bless me” for adopting these children – I know that I truly am blessed, just not in the way that you think. More accurately I would say “Bless these children, for letting me be their mother.”